One Month Married: Lessons Learned

Hi friends!! I’m really excited to share today’s post with you, because I have a special guest… my husband!! We started this post when we hit our one month anniversary, and now we just hit 7 weeks! Ha. We have learned so much in this first month and a half of marriage (some silly, some serious) and we thought it would be fun to share our experience as newlyweds! I also asked if y’all had any questions on IG the other week- and you did! So we’re going to share our top 5 lessons learned and then the Q&A from y’all! So let’s dive right in 🙂

ONE: Have grace, both with yourself and your spouse. (Gentry)

One of the best pieces of advice we got before our wedding, was that marriage not only requires grace for your spouse- after all you are going to be learning and adjusting to life together- but that you have to have grace for yourself. I am my own worst critic and I hold myself to an often unattainable standard, so I can be the hardest on myself about wanting to be the “perfect” spouse. But Rob reminds me frequently to give myself grace, and that we are learning together. This is a lesson I know we will carry throughout our many years of marriage to come and all that life may bring us!

TWO: Splitting a bathroom with a female is a new experience. (Rob)

This is the first time I’ve ever shared a bathroom with a woman before… and my use of it has changed accordingly! (Gentry’s note: our house is a 3/1 so not only do we share a bathroom- it’s our only bathroom!) I’ve learned to wipe down the sink after I brush my teeth, I’m quieter when I’m in there… and I don’t want to say anything else that might make me sound like a dork! (Gentry again: he’s not!! :))

THREE: Praying together daily is a game changer! (Gentry)

When we were in our pre-marriage class, the couple leading the study challenged us to pray together every day- and that it would change our relationship. It’s a habit we started not thinking it really would change anything- and friends it changed everything! Both Rob & I have robust prayer lives individually, but there is something so special about coming together and praying with each other and to the Lord that is powerful! If you are dating/engaged/married we cannot recommend you do this enough! What joy it will bring!

“Where two or more are gathered together, there I will be with them.” (Matthew 18:20)

FOUR: Thing that are a big deal to you aren’t a big deal to your partner – and vice versa. (Rob & Gentry)

We are learning that we both grew up doing things that are such ingrained habits and are very important to us, but your partner may not do those same things or even do things the same way. While at first glance it may seem that the other is doing it “wrong” it’s learning to talk about those things, compromise, and make adjustments accordingly that keep your relationship growing and strengthening.

As Rob says, for further reading see lid, toilet. (ha!)

FIVE: “We both have our talents” (Gentry & Rob)

I (Gentry) hate taking out the trash- despise it! And Rob has been so good about taking it out, so one day when he mentioned I should I casually told him, “Why? We both have our talents!” While he’s not yet let me live it down, we have realized that there are things I do better (washing dishes) and he does better (breaking down the recycling) and we split those duties up that way we are both contributing in way that work best for us!

Q&A!

What is the most surprising thing you’ve learned about each other since marriage?

Gentry: I’ve been surprised by how important it is to Rob to leave the toilet lid up (not the inner ring, just the top lid!) It’s something he always grew up doing and I assumed if I asked nice to put it down that would be the end of it… nope! It’s now become our running joke/daily battle- but hey, we have to keep each other on our toes!

Rob: I’ve learned how important Gentry’s morning routine is to her. She’s very devoted to it, and even on days she doesn’t have to get up early (non work days) she still chooses to get up early and devote time to that routine.

Did we pool our furniture together or need to revamp when we moved in together?

Gentry: This is definitely still a work in progress! at the moment the house is a bit of a mix-match between our bachelor and bachelorette furniture. We have a vision for the space but are budgeting for the pieces we want. Also, we may be moving again (but more on that to come!!).

How was moving in together:

Gentry: I think it was MUCH easier than I thought it would be! We mesh together so easily, that it was pretty natural to start melding our routines and lives together. It helps that Rob is really easy-going, so when he found out how important my early morning routine was to me, he shifted his workouts to morning so that we would have nights together. As with all things, having open communication, sharing what’s important to you, and being able to talk through that with your partner makes it much easier!

Rob: It was easy. Even though we both brought bit of our past with us, we knew moving in together was our chance to start something new and create the traditions and routines that would be part of something larger for our family down the road.

Has it been hard getting adjusted to living together? Would love to know about your transition to roommates since y’all didn’t live together before!

Gentry: As someone who lived alone for the past 6 or 7 years, I actually thought it would be harder than it has been! There are always going to be moments when you think the pots should go here, and he thinks they should go there, but far and away Rob impresses me every day with how patient, kind, and flexible he is. If we ever don’t see eye to eye we stop and talk it through – and always end up in a better spot than where we started. Plus, Rob is actually really FUN to live with – I’m never not laughing with him!

Rob: There are parts that have been more difficult than others. Splitting a bed, getting used to each others sleeping rhythms and patterns (Gentry is a heavy sleeper… Rob is not), & knowing when to pick your battles. For the better part of the past 7 years I lived alone, so getting used to having someone in the same space as you is different. But it’s been a lot of fun learning how to live together; life is light years easier not having drive back and forth and getting to establish habits, hobbies, and traditions that will shape the rest of our lives together.

Does Rob also have a cloffice?

Rob: nope.

Gentry: He wants a room for all his shoes one day (He collects Nikes) so I think he will… one day!

What is the best thing about being married?

Gentry: As cheesy as it sounds, it’s that I get to wake up and spend every day with my best friend! I never believed that a man could be my “best friend” but there is no doubt that God molded our hearts just for each other and Rob knows mine so well. He finishes my sentences, anticipates what I’m going to say and knows exactly what I’m about to propose all the time! Plus, as I’ve alluded to, he cracks me up. life is just FUN when I’m with him and I am so thankful to get to experience God’s design for marriage.

Rob: I would just like to say, have you seen my wife? In seriousness, it’s nice to experience what God’s definition of love looks like in human flesh. (Gentry: swoon!)

I hope y’all had fun today getting to know Rob and I a little better! We are so thankful to be on this journey of marriage together and can’t wait to see what we continue to learn!

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11 Comments

  1. July 22, 2020 / 1:45 am

    Oh what a sweet post! happy one month (nearly two month!) anniversary to you! And thank you for the link up!

    • girlmeetsbow
      Author
      August 4, 2020 / 6:21 pm

      Thank you so much!

  2. July 22, 2020 / 9:10 am

    Your wedding photos are stunning! You and Rob are a beautiful couple! So fun reading your Q&A!

    Jill – Doused in Pink

    • girlmeetsbow
      Author
      July 28, 2020 / 7:46 pm

      Thank you so much!!

  3. July 22, 2020 / 12:34 pm

    What a lovely post! Congratulations lovely lady!

  4. July 22, 2020 / 6:16 pm

    Aww this was so sweet to read! I loved reading your perspective as a newly married couple, I think it can inspire so many people, even people like me who have been married for a long time (14 years!).

    • girlmeetsbow
      Author
      August 4, 2020 / 6:21 pm

      Awww I am so glad to hear that! Thank you!

  5. July 24, 2020 / 6:15 am

    Gentry this was a wonderful post! I think you’ve figured out in a month what it took me years to do. It is quite clear you are both a perfect match, and Rob is the perfect gentleman! You hit the nail on the head with the division of talents – you do find a balance, to the point where you both naturally do different things chore wise and it just comes together at home without you even thinking about it. Especially if you give and take and don’t get too woulnd up about socks being let everywhere or clothes in the wrong drawers, or coffee cups left everywhere (or whatever it is!). Being your husband’s BFF is the absolute key to success, as you are finding out.

    • girlmeetsbow
      Author
      July 28, 2020 / 8:01 pm

      Thank you for sharing your wisdom ! We learn more every day but are having the best time along the way!

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